I lie here in bed, it’s 2 am. My face is al washed with tears. I just had an avalanche of sadness. I just felt as if my heart was ripped off. I only have this feeling sometimes. Not that often I leave it in and loose the battle. From day to day it looks like I’m fine, at least that’s what I try to be. But sometimes when there’s so much joy in everybody around me, and it all appears to be so good in their lives it just makes me feel like a black sheep. Cause I really try to be positive and grateful and not to much complaining bout stuff, or better my stuff. But at the moment it’s just not that easy for me. I’m trying to get a grip on my life, but my mind sometimes betrays me. I can’t help it. Those moments I just miss the happiness. Do you remember your last really happy moment?
Then I feel alone, and I don’t want to feel alone. You know how much you should value and appreciate your family and friends in life. I don’t understand all those families angry with each other. But when you don’t have them anymore. Then you’ll really gonna miss them. So think wise before you argue. Before you judge. Just feel grateful.
It’s not good to live in the past or in memories but sometimes I just really would like to go back to my childhood, feel the wind in my face and eat an ice cream. Cause back then I still had both my parents.